NewManPodcast über Beziehungen

Posted on: 10. November 2010

Zu den Fragen um Gewöhnung in Beziehungen aber auch um die Ziele und Kriterien in einer Beziehung gibt es beim New Man Podcast zwei interessante Folgen, in denen es um verschiedene beziehungs-relevante Fragen geht. Aber auch um die Fragen, die mich selbst betreffen und die sie bei mir beantwortet wissen will. Hier die ganze Liste.

The only help I would suggest would be to learn how to “own your desire”. Good news is that we did two POWERFUL shows on this very topic recently. My wife and I talk about how I had to awkwardly learn how to own my desire for other women even though I was in love with her and married. I think you’ll be surprised to hear what these amazing women had to say about sexual desire, marriage, and commitment.

In this episode:

  • “If I could just talk to her about this, things would be better…”
  • Fear that even speaking about stuff will set off a fight
  • Can’t talk about sex, money, health issues
  • How to discuss taboos
  • Speaking your desire is the biggest topic
  • Many people struggling being straight up with what they want in relationship
  • It’s a dealbreaker that things can’t even be discussed
  • We imagine how our partners will respond — not based in reality
  • Dating women with kids from a previous marriage
  • It’s not okay to speak your truth
  • Quit assuming you know what your partner is going to say or do
  • Joking “around” the subject doesn’t help you — it hurts you
  • It’s not the topic that she’s rejecting, it’s how you’re approaching it
  • Not owning your desire has you come off as creepy, untrustworthy
  • If she can’t trust how you’re speaking about something, she can’t trust how you may do it
  • Fallacy: “You’re responsible for my being satisfied”
  • Drill down and get clear about why you desire this
  • Make it right for having this in your life
  • Don’t let your shame stuff it for you
  • Don’t make it that she’s not okay with it
  • Deep down, are you okay with it?
  • If you’re scared or timid — be straight with that, bring that to the conversation
  • The danger of cutting off or not owning your desire
  • Cutting off what you want makes you less trustworthy
  • She may not like the content but she’ll trust you more
  • You have a choice in every situation — you just may not like the options
  • What’s more important to you? To live a lie or to in integrity
  • Being in relationship with a whole person

Episode 2 / Podcast TNM 074:

  • Don’t be afraid of your woman’s storm
  • How to go through something hard and come out okay
  • Why am I in this relationship?
  • Life with a woman is about storm
  • Storming is about being passionate
  • Do you want a passionate woman or a stepford wife robot?
  • Storming is to test a man, to see if he’s trustable
  • The storm does not mean something is wrong
  • Do not buckle to the storm
  • If you buckle, she will take over your role in the relationship or look for some way to fill it
  • It’s not about winning a fight or dominating the scenario
  • She’s entitled to her response and it has virtually nothing to do with you
  • Don’t take on her feelings
  • And don’t defensively posture
  • Stay curious
  • We want to know that in our relationships, we can say anything
  • Most common belief: I’m the only one that has to deal with this
  • Don’t try to do it alone
  • Get help with big problem areas — find a therapist, coach or counselor
  • Trust that your relationship can stand the test and actually grow
  • Look at your partner as a team member, not as your opponent

viaTNM 074: Alyson Schwabe & Christiane Pelmas Pt 2 – How to Navigate a Woman’s Emotional Minefield | The New Man Podcast.


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